#TheShameGame

Tisk, Tisk... It's time to talk about the S-word...

We've all had it happen - Here's my experience today.

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I post a photo on Instagram of my son & I at Starbucks.

He's doing a happy dance with a kids-sized Chocolate Frappuccino and a huge smile!

He got a really awesome grade on his spelling test, and I have a split custody plan - so this was a nice little reward for him before we go 5 days without seeing each other.

Within minutes, my DMs are filled with the sweetest comments. I appreciate those.

Within minutes, my DMs are inevitably hit with the "Mom-Shamers" too...

Shamers typically start off sneaky too: asking if I've "watched the new documentary on Non-GMO's and how they harm our bodies", the processed sugar epidemic, childhood obesity and the list goes on...

Once you respond that you obviously haven't because you don't need a documentary to tell you that "Sugar is from the Devil"...

They go in for the kill...

"I just think you could have gone to get him a Green Machine juice instead, maybe?"

Now here's where it gets tricky...

I'm no stranger to the Shamers, so I always have a quick response at the ready.

You can't be a Mom at 16 and hear "You don't even look old enough to be married let alone be a parent!?" multiple times a day, well into your 20's and not have an arsenal of readied Shamer responses.

I respond with "Well, you're obviously a much better mother than I am."

Now, there's a few reasons I said this. The main reason is this: I know exactly what the Mom Shamers come for. They want to make you feel worse, so they feel better. Criticizing others is like a temporary vacation from having to look at your own life.

If you want to spot a miserable person, look for the one who's bashing everyone around her...

If it's past Noon and your baby is still in pajamas - watch out

If its after 9pm and your kids are still awake - hold your britches

If you post a photo of your toddler strapped into a carseat - just go ahead and delete your whole account.

Post a Food Selfie that isn't Vegan/Vegetarian/Keto/Paleo/Low Carb - and they will come for you.

There's the unspoken rule that if you share anything in a public forum, you need to be prepared for the public to share their opinions - but this whole shaming epidemic is totally out of control. And shaming the Shamers just means you're doing the same thing, so I just give them what they came for and hurry them along their way.

She popped in to make me feel bad for getting my kid Starbucks because evidently, sugar is the reason Death Row is full of criminals waiting to be executed. And I gave her exactly what she wanted with "You're a better Mom than I am."

She responded with a "No No No I wasn't saying that, I just knew you are focused on being healthy BLAHHHHHHH"

I didn't even read it.

Just told her "Have a great rest of your week!" and blocked her.

Blocked her??? Ohhhh Yessir I did.

Here's why: I am SUPREMELY protective of the energy I allow near me. Mostly because I am very sensitive to negative energy. It took me a good 2 decades to really figure that out, but once I got it - I am like a bulldog, sniffing for those rain cloud vibes and barking them away when I find them.If there is one thing I have ALWAYS tried to be, it was a person who you were happier leaving than when you came. I'm always making jokes and being goofy (and super inappropriate!) and the reason behind that is because I fully understand that EVERYONE is walking this Earth with their own battles, struggles, demons, obstacles, trials & hurdles - THE LAST THING I ever want to do is dump my negativity on anyone else.

Back to shame...

Shame is a powerful motivator. I mean, think about it - when you arch that disapproving eyebrow up at your child and give them that look of shame, they typically bolt right out of whatever they were doing wrong. The words "I am so disappointed in you" or "I am so ashamed of what you did." will rock the average person to their core and have them running for the closest cave to hide in.

When you really look at what shame is, it says more about the person shaming - then what/who they are shaming. It takes so little effort to make another person feel small. You can do that with a flick of your eyebrow or a lift of your upper lip. You can make a quick snide comment, or a catty joke at their expense - and the shame becomes a badge they are dishonorably forced to wear.

Wanna know what takes work? Lifting someone up. Now THAT takes effort, intention, heart and positivity. You have to put heart into lifting someone up. You have to look beyond image to really truly touch someone and make them feel special. You have to get to know people, invest in others with the intention of pouring into them - to really make a positive impact.

It's not hard to find things wrong with people. We are ALL flawed. But to see the good, you have to flex that positivity muscle and train it daily. Just like a physical muscle, it gets stronger every day until you think back to how you even survived without the strength you have now!

xoxo CM